this body

When I began contemplating this blog, I considered making it a space to record my efforts to become more physically fit. I thought it could store a log which would record numbers--hours at the gym, steps on my pedometer,  calories consumed, and pounds (hopefully lost) on the bathroom scale. But, in all honesty, the more I thought of this particular approach to my health and fitness goals, the more nauseated I began to feel. It's not that I won't continue to push myself towards my "at least three times a week at the gym", "10000 steps a day", "8 glasses of water a day" goals, but this is not what I need this new blog of mine to be. I don't think I should measure health and wellness with too intense a focus on numbers. I cannot risk having my happiness or my level of inner confidence intertwined with such.

Instead, this body deserves celebration. This body of mine carried four souls and birthed three children. These hips carried those children of mine and several nieces, nephews, and other children I babysat for over the years. These legs and feet have taken me on various adventures--from one place to another--on stage, in the classroom, to beaches, up mountains, and through the woods. These breasts nursed three children and the stretch marks (or as I've heard them called recently, tiger stripes!) announce my fierce and loving role as a Mom. These hands, sometimes achy, have graded thousands upon thousands of student papers, and the wrinkles on my face radiate decades of smiling and other animated expressions. These arms have hugged and held friends and family. This lap has provided a comfortable seat for my babies as we rocked, read, or cuddled. These broad shoulders have lugged bags of school work, diapers, groceries, sports equipment, and have moved furniture and boxes of clothing, dishes, etc in and out of my daughters' dorm rooms and apartments, and these nearsighted eyes of mine have done their best to watch over my loved ones.

It's most important to me to take time out to acknowledge that I am most grateful and appreciative of this body of mine. This body has done right by me for 46 years. Sure, it's no longer squeezing into the tiniest pieces of clothing. And I've had some awful sciatica pain at times, but luckily it dissipates quickly when it comes. I'll continue with my goals to drop some weight through exercise and healthy eating because I want to do right by this body and be stronger for the future. I want another 46 years with this body of mine, at least. But in this day, today? Hell yes, this body deserves an embrace!